This looks like the best deal of the week at Kmart … of course, if you live near my Kmart’s … not so much on the actual choices …

Please, for the love that is holy and plasticky, please take these off our hands … (Toys R Us)

Um, really?

Okay, I guess if you live 50 miles from the nearest town and you crave doughnuts but doesn’t $130 buy like 200 doughnuts made by professionals? Not to mention you have to supply oil, flour and filing?

And of course, this is bizarre on many levels.

What’s next, a coupon for a 2-pack of individual Tic Tacs? I admit, I would fail badly at the Price-is-Right toothpick pricing game as I have no clue how much toothpicks cost but is this really the state of the economy right now? That we sit shivering by a fire waiting for a coupon so we can pick up toothpicks for $.39? How much are we saving? How much can Walgreen’s make nationwide with this offer? I’ll bet you the cost of designing this ad (never mind the printing) cost MORE than what Walgreen’s will make back across 6,000 stores! Is this coupon enough to get all of us off the sidelines of buying toothpicks so that we get in our car and drive to Walgreen’s? I’m surprised it’s this easy – what, no rebate form? And clearly, Walgreen’s has to stop of bleeding of the staggering losses racked by this promotions – LIMIT THREE.

Who hoards toothpicks?

Will there be a shooting in a store when a deranged customer is denied 4 packs of Penley’s Toothpicks for $.39?

“Sir, it is against policy to sell you a fourth pack of toothpicks at $.39 … please put down that handgun.”

“Sir, the $.39 only applies to ROUND toothpicks – these are clearly not the right ones.”

“Sorry, only Penley toothpicks are on sale, not the Gucci, Fendi or GE toothpicks.”

“Sir, this coupon is clearly printed off the internet, coupon fraud – that’s a tazing!”

“No, the redwood flavored ones are not on sale.”

But at least three of your bestest friends can get “mini pick-up sticks” for the low, low price of $.39

And people think we’ve lost the Christmas spirit.