I been shined.

I haz no Sidewall Shine.

Apparently I am a deviant as I deviated and am non-compliant.

I can picture the 1979 Cylon talking to me through the window – YOU ARE NON COMPLIANT. YOU ARE NON COMPLIANT.

ERROR. ERROR.

Didn’t really explain why I’m not compliant as I sent in the receipt, the cardbacks, the UPC’s and my check. Not exactly sure where they think I could’ve cheated them out of a “free” car with that process but um, okay …

I’m also still not sure why I got two letters back – with Mattel spending ($.84) in postage, paper, envelope and a computer database built to tell me why 5 cardbacks, two receipts and a check is “non-compliant.” Would’ve it have easier and LESS COSTLY & more consumer friendly just to cash my $5 check and send me the “free” CAR? Or maybe even include a friendly letter stating, you are non compliant but since this is your first ‘infraction,’ we’ll cut you some slack and complete the deal anyway?

In their original email back to me, they admitted receiving the cardbacks, the receipts and my check – so I’m not exactly sure where they think I could’ve cheated or gamed their system? But hey, it’s good to know that I’m not worth the cost of a “free” CAR to pacify or to help resolve the issue by believing the customer and instead, automatically presume I’m just out to steal a “free” CAR from them. That it’s somehow better “customer relations” to go over each request with a fine tooth comb with a staff of dozens and their whim?

The bottom line is that I’m not worth $5 dollars of service but they’ll spend $500 worth of salary, pension, computing power and overhead to reject me but not $5 to retain me as a customer?

I mean, if you’re going to spend all that money to build and staff a fulfllment house, what is really the difference in not fulfilling the order? Minus my payment, the difference in costs is ZERO but the cost in customer relations is how much exactly?

I think the problem is the fulfillment department seems to think they are the IRS – that we are all tax cheats and look for reasons to reject a CUSTOMER SERVICE REQUEST … sure, they might look better in some senses not spending as much on postage or packing material but their actions pretty much negate Mattel’s Marketing department’s promotions and customer relations? In fact, they end up costing Mattel on every end of this process? Not only does Mattel end up with inventory clotting their warehouse, they spend hundreds of dollars to tell customers they’re ‘wrong’ (and of course, as just a ‘customer’, not worth a real explanation – just I’m non-compliant) and that they are not worth $5 as a customer.

Um, smart or not so smart?

Why have a fulfillment department that would prefers not to fulfill anything? Do they do investigation work for the IRS at night? Do they have one of the motivation posters that say NOT ON MY WATCH!?

One of our other readers pointed out that their son had a broken arm – but that was not enough to resolve a situation in favor of a customer – boy, I guess the customer relations department of Mattel would really, really like their jobs if they didn’t have to deal with customers.

Bottom line – millions spent on overhead that actually only serve to annoy customers or $5 spent to make a customer happy.

Humm, what is the right decision?

Tizmanian Update:  Notice that the return address on MET’s letter?  It is from an East Aurora, NY address?  That happens to be the home of Fisher-Price which Mattel bought up a few years ago.  Maybe MET caught them part-timers in customer ‘service’ the day after the Buffalo Bills lost?

UPDATE

Ari S. managed to get them to accept that maybe this is not exactly like submitting a new drug to the FDA …

Thank you for your participation in our Disney/Pixar CARS Racer Offer!

Although our Official Terms and Conditions state that all cardboard pieces needed to be submitted with your request, we have decided to accommodate you and send the Cars Sidewall Shine vehicle(s) you requested.  The vehicle is being sent to you under separate cover and you should receive it shortly.

If you should have any questions or concerns in the future regarding Mattel products, please call us at 800-524-8697, Monday through Friday, 9:00 am to 7:00 pm and Saturday, 11:00 am to 5:00 pm, ET.

Sincerely,

Mattel, Inc.
Consumer Relations