“I want a hard-target search of any residence, gas station, farmhouse, henhouse, doghouse and outhouse in that area. Check-points go up at 15 miles”

These very words are being barked at families around the country as we slide down our CARS poles and drop into our Bentley convertibles* to go racing out into the streets and nights.

THEY’RE OUT THERE!

We can sense it. We can feel it.

The zinc in them CARS is setting off our mutant senses – making us all tingly**

Them CARS is nearly out on the loose and the go code has been given to widen your search.

Can’t find the T-Case? Where should you look … Walgreen’s? (maybe – I did find a Stickers McQueen there also! Good thing I had a rash … 🙂 )

Can you think of 10 retailers in America?

Nope, give me a longer list …

Yep, Jacque Pénné

(aka: JC Penney)

I’m presuming the rumor is true so strap on your uggs and flip flops and report back – CARS at JC Penney.

It might not be today or even tomorrow but take a long look … if not now, soon, very, very soon.

And speaking of Walgreen’s … the other portion of the rumor is that supermarkets are getting a standee of CARS – it might not be available until Christmas/holiday time but when you’re in your supermarket last this wintery season, you might want to take a look but not just yet. It won’t arrive for another few weeks …

BUT … there are pallets in the warehouses just itching to go out … Walmart AND Toys R Us are apparently getting large shipments today or by next Friday … now, when does this stuff makes it from the backroom to the selling floor? You tell me.

AND CASE A will be shipping by NEXT WEEK. Yep, those 20 bags of Halloween candy you ate put you into a sugary diabetic coma and it’s 2009 already … or maybe that’s just me. No, not kidding. CASE A is ready and rarin’ to go out the door – it’s a matter of days – so much for waiting until December. Oh yeah … and on Sunday, we should know what the next CHASE car is … 🙂 …

I know I’ve just put 10,000 real cars on the road to drive in a giant drifting circle – sorry, Mother Earth but thank thee for the zinc and dead dinosaurs so we may have CARS. Thank thee for the cows so we may have strength to shop and thank thee for grains and the whole fermenting process so we can relax after we come back with MAJOR SCORES!***

* I think the only people left who can afford to collect CARS are those of us with Bentley convertibles, right?

** Please make up your own G-RATED jokes. (MET:EDIT)

*** Please do not curse me or call employees at JC Penney names if the CARS have not arrived yet. Buy a sweater or some CARS perfume.