As someone who will eat anything that screams NEW – I had to try out the Hostess 100-calorie pack cupcakes – the mini version.

I had pretty low expectations and they even failed that. If you put a little frosting on an oreo, that’s pretty much the size of each one. You get three in a pack and 6 in a box.

If you savor them slowly as I did, it took me about 10 seconds to get 100 calories down my gullet and of course, purely for science, I tried a second different flavor also in 10 seconds.

If you’re hungry and have a hankerin’ for cake, don’t eat these. These are basically slightly moistened pellets – if you just want to ingest something, anything sweet without working your teeth too hard, they are adequate.

I tried the CARROT cake and the CHOCOLATE.

Carrot Cake version – is it worth 100 calories to ingest something with barely any taste of any kind? They might as well call it Belgium Marble Cake with Marzipan Swirl & Asteroid Dust since we wouldn’t taste anything there either. You think for something like CARROT CAKE, you would taste either carrot or cake – is that so much to ask? So, if you’re looking for a snack that evokes none of your 5 senses, here ya go (clearly the ‘common sense’ one isn’t working when you buy this willingly like I did).

The chocolate contains a little filling (the same “creme” as in Twinkies?) so there is a little texture and flavor. It’s like those chocolate spray fragrances – it reminds you of chocolate in some 1-dimension way – though not real impressive for a 3-dimensional object. You know how if you forget a piece of chocolate cake wrapped in foil in your fridge after a month – it’s still black and it still resembles a cake but it’s so dry it’s like eating a sponge and after drinking 4 glasses of water, you vaguely recall what miniscue flavoring has coated your tongue – well, Hostess has replicated that miniscue chocolate taste in a tiny puck form.

So, if you are actually savoring the thought of cake hitting your taste buds – my review is – Bl’eh.

But if you need something that will slide down easy that reminds you of something sweet and it’s all that’s in your house? Then the review is – m’eh.

It’s not good but then that pretty encompasses the entire Hostess line except for the Berry Fruit Pie – I tried eating a Twinkie last year – it was like biting into a rain soften pile of bread crumbs filled with salted Crisco …